my sarcasm is at it’s best when I hear a stupid question

(Source: dimwited, via trust)

(via trust)

sheeranal:

single and ready for someone to fall in love with me already like damn

(via trust)

Watching I love Lucy reruns..

foxmouth:

Landscapes, 2014 | by Anthony Samaniego

(via locktobre)

The person who was once your very definition of love is now the reason why you don’t believe in it anymore.

- Malaiko (via theonemalaiko)

(via awgingersnaps)

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

F. Scott Fitzgerald (via goddesstenenit)

(via the-elitists)

hplyrikz:

More “Here’s To The Kids” Here

hplyrikz:

More “Here’s To The Kids” Here

(via awgingersnaps)

if someone hurts you, stay the fuck away, no matter how hard it is, stay the fuck away

(via bruisedbbygirl)

(Source: daaint, via awgingersnaps)

perdu-et-seul:

hermioning:

there are more nipples than people

this fucked me over

(via trust)

happierman:

kwmurphy:

7 Mistakes You’re Making with Olive Oil

Shampooing your dog with it.


Pouring it on Lord Denethor and lighting him on fire.


Trying to use it as currency.


Carrying it in a gallon freezer bag and telling people it’s your nephew Walt.


Freezing it in the shape of olives.


Dressing like Popeye and trying to have sex with it.


Using it as a metaphor to describe Johnny Fontaine’s hair to Tom Hagen. 



Oh man. Super guilty of 2 & 3.

happierman:

kwmurphy:

7 Mistakes You’re Making with Olive Oil

  1. Shampooing your dog with it.

  2. Pouring it on Lord Denethor and lighting him on fire.

  3. Trying to use it as currency.

  4. Carrying it in a gallon freezer bag and telling people it’s your nephew Walt.

  5. Freezing it in the shape of olives.

  6. Dressing like Popeye and trying to have sex with it.

  7. Using it as a metaphor to describe Johnny Fontaine’s hair to Tom Hagen.

Oh man. Super guilty of 2 & 3.

(via locktobre)

myheadisloud:

tall-girlproblems:

myheadisloud:

boy nipples are weird

girl nipples are weird

the word nipple is weird

the phrase nip nops is weird

That’s why you call them sensitive chest raisins.

first of all, no

(via manda)

1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood

krvsty:

peacocks look like they speak french

(Source: happybutts, via manda)